She.....

Almost 24 hours ago I sat across from a woman at dinner that continues to captivate me without her even knowing it. There is no presumption on her part. She is only herself and has never tried to be another someone. She is the quintessential version of what I never knew I always wanted. She doesn't know that I sometimes just watch her mouth when she speaks. Her eyes, always sincere, add more to her words (which need no assistance) but assist them all the more. She makes me smile. She is the gift from God to the man I wish I always was. She sees my flaws and yet loves still. She sees my quarks and yes, laughs. She sees my pain and endures with me.

She takes my breath and heart away...and I bid them adieu for I am a better man with them in her possession.

She is my wife.

He's Already Been There....

Have you ever felt like your life was two steps away from greatness as well as two steps away from all of the wheels coming off the train at the same time? I tend to feel this way often. Before you diagnose me as being "Manic Depressive" let me explain.

Depending on the circumstances in my marriage, family, friendships and ministry; I really can end up feeling a wide range of emotions. As the victories and losses of our lives ebb and flow we can all find ourselves overcome with the feelings of excitement and euphoria to the depths of anxiety and grief. It is vital that we make the truth of God's word our compass; a fixed "True North" for our souls. Without it our emotions can spin out of control and it can lead us to make erratic decisions as well allow us to go to some very dark places in our hearts and minds.

Quick Question: Did you know that God is not restricted by time?

"He is the Alpha and Omega, The Beginning and The End". He sees and knows all things. He knows our thoughts and words even before we speak them. He has already been to the end of your situation. He's seen the outcome. There are no surprises for God. Bottom Line: We can take comfort in knowing that our 'future' that seems at times so scary and daunting for us; is already God's present. He's already been there and got the t-shirt.

Trust Him,

Nathan

When Today isn't Enough.....

Recently I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend and find out how his life was going. He shared with me that he was going to make another huge leap in furthering his academic studies. When I asked him why, he said, "I need an external mental and emotional push. It's either this or have an affair. I chose the least expensive option."

I can resonate with my friend's feeling of always wanting that "next big thing". I can become so forward thinking that I forget about today. And that next big thing is always elusive. It seems just as we arrive and accomplish that project, event or attain that "next ring", we find that the satisfaction disappears in our souls like cotton candy on the tongue. This constant striving left unchecked can cause us to live life like a bull in a china closet.

I have been on this roller coaster of emotions and it's not fun. I'm slowly growing in my ability to manage my emotions instead of my emotions managing me. For the sake of my marriage, my family and my ministry it is crucial that I get this right. Bottom line: I must remind myself daily that my life's pursuit is not to attain greatness for myself, but to point to Christ's greatness.

Today is Enough,

Nathan