Thursday, May 14, 2009

Surprising Struggle....

I felt a call into ministry 15 yrs ago. While I have had the opportunity to learn and grow in my gifts for ministry there is still an area that I struggle with consistently: Prayer. Shocking I know. After 15 yrs of being a pastor....still struggling in his prayer life. Yes. Lately I've been on a great roll. Each day I've been taking time to journal my prayers and thoughts along with insights I feel the Lord gives me. Yet, I still can't get over how much "work" prayer is. Obviously not physically intensive, it takes everything within me to calm my mind and to slow my life down. My mind screams at me about all the other things I could or even "should" be doing. I many times crowd my schedule with things I tell myself are urgent and unavoidable. So I am having to make an actual appointment with myself every day to meet with God in prayer. Even my actual prayers can be a struggle. My prayers at first seem trite and redundant and just flat over all. There is something that happens though as I push through that feeling of uselessness. Something deeper happens when I wade through the clutter of my mind to talk with Him. Peace. Comfort. Real strength for a real life that is spinning around me. God, I need that today.

Bow your heads with me,


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