Receiving Critism....

Every now and then I get a blunt reminder that not everyone is part of the Nathan Rouse fan club of life. For someone like me who has in the past looked for validation externally, it can be hard to hear, read, and see that not everyone likes me. I sometimes really wish I was that person that could care less what so and so thinks and just keep moving forward, but for me it's not that easy. It's even harder if you're putting yourself out there in the area of leading, teaching, writing, etc. Whether it's people that just misunderstand you, whole heartily disagree with your positions or just don't like you, I believe there are some principles that can help us when receiving criticism.

Don't get defensive: Set your pride and ego aside and genuinely hear what the person has to say. Sometimes people just want to feel heard. Don't always feel you have to respond right then. I sometimes take notes (if I can) so I slow myself down and process what they've said later.

Ask yourself "Is there ANY truth to what's been shared?": I believe we can learn from anyone, even if the criticism is not shared in the most mature or kindest fashion.

DO make adjustments if needed: If out of the criticism you see something valuable that needs to be adjusted in yourself or leadership...DO IT! Don't allow your ego to keep you from learning and growing.

Move Forward: Many people when running into criticism allow it to paralyze their lives, plans and leadership. If you feel what you're doing is biblical and you've prayed, sought wise counsel, and feel this is the best course then stand firm and move forward. Don't water down your message or plans out of fear of upsetting others when you know it's the best course of action.

Value the Relationship: Our immediate reaction to someone being critical is to want to withdrawal from that person by either avoiding them or just not talking as much to them. While we cannot control their actions we can control ours. Make it a point to continue to reach out to them even if they might not receive it. The apostle Paul said for us to "live in peace with one another." We should make every effort to do so!

Go Grow,

Nathan

Don't Be This Kind of Christian.....

Something I hear often from people that have left a church they've attended or from those considering leaving their church is "we just feel we're not being fed." I'm sorry "What?". What do you mean you are "not being fed"? It's almost always people that have had a relationship with God for a long time. A new believer NEVER says, "I'm just not being fed."


What they mean is that they don't feel like they are being challenged or nurtured spiritually at a church. Can the local church be failing at this sometimes? Answer: Yes. But my first question when talking to someone who makes this statement is: "What are you doing to feed yourself"? Daily reading of your Bible? Regular intimate prayer time? Are you proactive in your Christian educational growth by attending classes and reading?Are you serving the Lord by serving in your local church or are you just "consuming"?

When we attend church services with the desire to be entertained we're committing idolatry.

Realize that a pastor speaking on a Sunday is speaking to a wide spectrum of people from those just initially seeking God to those who have known Him for decades. As we grow in our maturity in our walk with God our role should be changing from just consuming at church to serving and leading.

Let's Grow Together,

Nathan